There are all things that we need to “let go” of. Even Elsa from ‘Frozen’ had a reason to sing about it. But for a mother, one of the hardest things to ever let go, would be her children.
According to a website called “JanShares,” she describes it as: “This notion of “letting go” can create levels of anxiety most parents could not have prepared for, with an intensity they did not expect. Many report experiencing feelings of grieving a loss.
The emotional struggle could be due to your own dependency needs supplied to you by your child. The truth is, for a parent, there is no other love that compares to the love a mother has for a child and the responsibility that comes with caring for and protecting that child.
Thus, a parent is operating out of pure love, reciprocated by the child, which creates the intense, unexpected love bond that is hard to break. It’s no wonder parents have a tough time letting go and allowing the child to become independent.”
But letting go doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some ways to help the process:
- Set boundaries for yourself; practice giving your child space to grow.
- Give your child a chance to master tasks alone and learn from mistakes.
- Trust that the values you’ve instilled will inform their decisions.
- Acknowledge that you’ve done your best as a parent and that the hands-on phase of parenting does come to an end.
- Treat the letting go process as a transitional loss and grieve accordingly; see a family therapist if necessary.
* As your child matures, rebuild a new relationship that is less about dependency and more about mutual respect, admiration, and a celebration of a budding, capable young adult.